For the Reckord Read online

  FREEMAN: What are you going to do?

  CRAGGE: Who me?

  FREEMAN: Yes, what job are you going into?

  ADAMS: ‘E asn’t got a job. ‘E’ll be labourin’.

  CRAGGE: I ain’t much good with me ‘ands.

  FREEMAN: But you don’t want to stay on at school.

  BROOK: Get this thickie: they don’t teach nothing that’s any good to us.

  FREEMAN: (To CRAGGE.) So what are you going to do?

  COLMAN: Don’t say we got no ambition.

  BROOK: (To COLMAN.) I’ll tell you what he’s not going to do.

  COLMAN: What?

  BROOK: Helen! ‘E tried to muck about and she insulted him…

  CRAGGE: That’s a lie.

  FREEMAN: What’s this?

  ADAMS: So we want your name, sir, please, sir.

  FREEMAN: Freeman, that’s my name. What’s your name?

  ADAMS: Piggot. (ADAMS is small.) Lester Piggot.

  FREEMAN: Now you’ll understand that without knowing your names I can’t control the class, so I’ll punish anybody who trumps up a name. (Suddenly pointing to ADAMS.) You. What’s your name?

  ADAMS: Smith, sir.

  FREEMAN: Alright. Let’s take some current topic that interests you and talk about it. Any topic.

  BROOK: Girls.

  FREEMAN: Let’s take the bomb, for instance.

  JORDAN: Girls.

  FREEMAN: I suggest the bomb. Let’s hear what you think of…

  COLMAN: Girls.

  ADAMS: Girls.

  BROOK: And ask old Cragge about ‘Elen.

  ALL: Girls! Girls!

  FREEMAN: Don’t shout at me please.

  VOICES: We want girls.

  FREEMAN: (Taking up the challenge.) Right then, girls. You then, talk about girls.

  BROOK: ‘Is name is ‘Elen.

  The boys laugh at CRAGGE.

  FREEMAN: Start your talk.

  CRAGGE: Well, I don’t go much for the young talent because it ain’t very well informed see?

  Laughter.

  I like ‘em thirty, thirty-five, even forty like; get a bit a lolly and lot of fun out of ‘em, see?

  FREEMAN: (Warningly.) Good clean fun, eh, lad? Because that’s what we’re supposed to be talking about.

  CRAGGE: But if you can’t cop an amacher [amateur] like… FREEMAN: Let’s hear about the mixed youth clubs you lads go to.

  CRAGGE: Not me. No youth for me. I told yer… Too easy… You dunno what you may catch.

  BROOK: Easy wiv everyone except ‘im.

  ADAMS: (To CRAGGE.) As you was saying.

  CRAGGE: (To BROOK): Helen’s an easy feel but a hard lay if you really wanna know.

  FREEMAN: (Violently.) Quiet!

  COLMAN: You asked ‘im, didn’t you?

  FREEMAN: (To CRAGGE.) Sit down.

  CRAGGE: (Very excited.) If I can’t find an amacher, I like the old pros, see, because you can…

  Here follows a lewd gesture. Hell breaks loose. Enter HEADMASTER.

  HEAD: Just stand where you are. I heard the noise. Could you just tell me what happened, Mr. Freeman?

  FREEMAN: (In a strained voice as though he is on trial.) I said we’d take some subject and discuss it, say the bomb; and they said, ‘no, girls’. So I thought I’d better not shy away from the subject. Then this boy said he liked the old pros best because you can – and made a filthy gesture.

  HEAD: (Aside to FREEMAN.) Really these boys need special handling, Mr. Freeman, there’s nothing much we can do! A few of them are on probation. (Straightening his cane.) Come here, Cragge. Filthy gestures, eh? Bend over!

  CRAGGE obeys.

  (To the whole class.) Girls… my mother was a girl. I have the deepest respect, indeed, reverence for her… My sister was a girl too. (To ADAMS, who is smiling.) Yes, you worm, if your filthy little mind would let you, you’d think of your mother when you think of girls. I do… Now, I have from time to time in my life, while I was going about my business, seen women standing at street corners. I have assumed who they were. But I have never in my life spoken to such a woman. And certainly none of my sons have spoken to such a woman. Neither have we ever spoken about them. I do so for the very first time now and am very annoyed indeed. (To JORDAN.) You muddy-minded clot over there, you wouldn’t understand… at any rate whatever you talk about it in the streets or even in your own homes, we leave the subject out of this school, right out. For let me tell you, no man, no gentleman, ever talks about girls. (To CRAGGE.) Bend over, boy.

  He whips CRAGGE who winces at the first stroke, and tries hard not to wince for the other five.

  (After the whipping.) The subject Mr. Freeman suggested you discuss was the bomb. You will stay in this classroom after school tomorrow night and write me an essay on war. It’ll make you think. (To CRAGGE.) You’ve spent the last two years doing nothing but playing, playing, playing and talking, talking, talking. Just scraping into teams because you’re never steady. One match very good, another hopeless.

  ADAMS: (Softly.) It’s better than playing nothing at all.

  HEAD: What did you say?

  ADAMS: I said is this gonna keep ‘im off the side, sir.

  HEAD: It won’t if he’s on it.

  COLMAN: Won’t ‘e be in the team tonight, sir?

  CRAGGE: (Softly.) I ain’t worried.

  HEAD: Cragge isn’t worried. So long as people are talking about him he doesn’t care if they’re only saying he’s a washout. He’s easy to please.

  BROOK: He ain’t a killer.

  HEAD: Nothing like it. Not even a threat. He’s more like a false alarm. (The pips go.) You stay in during break, Cragge. The rest of you go.

  Everyone goes out leaving CRAGGE. After a few moments COLMAN sneaks back to be with his mate, restored to favour by the caning.

  CRAGGE: I’m going overseas. They pay your fare to Australia.

  COLMAN: (Unlike CRAGGE, he sticks to things.) What about football?

  CRAGGE: D’you think the head was hintin’ that I ain’t on the side?

  COLMAN: Dunno.

  CRAGGE: I suppose I won’t go nowhere. I don’t know what will ‘appen. If I go into a job there’ll be trouble. I won’t like them fast as ever and you know what they’ll be thinking of me.

  COLMAN: You’ll be a footballer. You might still be playing tonight.

  CRAGGE: Don’t know what I’ll be. (Anxious for a denial.) Wasn’t what he said a hint I was out?

  COLMAN: You can always go into the factory your old man works at?

  CRAGGE: Dunno, really. I done a turn there last summer ‘olidays. Me ‘and got tired carrying the bloody tea and I dropped the tray. And then another day I forgot the tea-break.

  COLMAN: Didn’t you ‘ear the ‘ooter?

  CRAGGE: I ‘eard it. Then I started thinkin’ a something else. There was ‘ell to pop. So there’s one place that don’t want me. My dad says word of this gets around and soon I’ll ‘ave to go over the water to find work... I been thinkin’ of the R.A.F. but it was this Air Trainin’ Course last weekend. Gave me the cramp that lot. Ten o’clock this duty, half past ten that, twelve o’clock the other. Bossed about by a little duck-arsed public school bloke I ‘ated. God, I dream about that bloke’s face and ‘is blinkin’ map-reading.

  COLMAN: You couldn’t be an officer with your accent.

  CRAGGE: I could change easy, I know I could. (Imitates.) I do it all the time up West. I say to a bloke…

  COLMAN: (Mocking.) Bloke!

  CRAGGE: Gent.

  COLMAN: Gent! It’s man, you nut.

  CRAGGE: Any’ow, I decided an officer, no matter ‘ow ‘igh ‘e was, always obeyed some other bloke. You can’t do much good of your own just obeyin’ someone.

  COLMAN: No, you can’t.

  CRAGGE: Don’t you want to be something where you can do a bit of good?

  COLMAN: I just want a big ‘ouse where my granny can live without feelin’ she ain’t wanted.

  CRAGGE: You’ll ‘ave that if you’
re doin’ something big and good like Danny Blanchflower or Stan Matthews. Someone important.

  COLMAN: A footballer ain’t really important.

  CRAGGE: The whole world knows you.

  COLMAN: But ‘e ain’t doin’ any good like.

  CRAGGE: You don’t know what you’re sayin’! Sport brings nations together.

  Silence.

  COLMAN: Does the ‘ead know the team for tonight, then?

  CRAGGE: Dunno.

  COLMAN: ‘E must, mustn’t ‘e?

  A long silence.

  CRAGGE: You know what I sit ‘ere thinking’. We could sell the metal ends of those desks and make a livin’.

  COLMAN: They ain’t worth a lot, them, though.

  CRAGGE: If you sell a few every day you make enough to start a business when you leave school.

  COLMAN: I ain’t a thief.

  CRAGGE: Well, do you think I am? Stealin’ for something special ain’t like bein’ a thief. Stealing to start a business where you gotta work ‘ard ain’t like livin’ off stealing. It in’t the same thing.

  COLMAN: If they nab you it’s the same gaol.

  CRAGGE: Probation. First offence.

  COLMAN: Who would we flog ‘em to?

  CRAGGE: We can easy find out.

  COLMAN: We can ask Brook.

  CRAGGE: We can do this better than ‘im. And we don’t wanna let anyone else into this else there won’t be any metal-ends left… It’s a school, it won’t miss ‘em.

  COLMAN: (Tugging at a metal end.) Means a lot to us, nothin’ to them. We could get ‘em off easy. Give me a hand – well come on!

  CRAGGE: We mustn’t use these. They know we’ve been in here.

  COLMAN: But ‘ere’s this one nearly off already. You always dream up somethin’, then when we’re gonna do somethin’ about it you ain’t interested.

  CRAGGE: They know we’re in ‘ere. We must get ‘em off other desks.

  COLMAN: When. (Mocking him.) Tomorrow or day after.

  CRAGGE: We must find out first where we can flog ‘em.

  COLMAN: Couldn’t we make a quid a day, do you think?

  CRAGGE: Not these in ‘ere any’ow.

  COLMAN: ‘Ow much for a shop?

  CRAGGE: Dunno. Two hundred?

  COLMAN: You’re nuts! Thousands.

  CRAGGE: About eight hundred

  COLMAN: That’s eight hundred days leaving out Saturdays and Sundays. That’s two years. We’ll be seventeen and still ‘ere. You are a wet.

  FREEMAN comes along the corridor and looks into the classroom.

  FREEMAN: Get out of the building during break.

  No answer from the boys.

  What is it?

  CRAGGE: You invited me to give on that subject.

  FREEMAN: But not on that part of the subject.

  CRAGGE: You didn’t say no part. You just said girls. And then you nark to the headmaster.

  FREEMAN: I said girls, not…

  CRAGGE: Not what?

  Enter BROOK.

  FREEMAN: (To the boys.) Get out of the building during break. You know the rules.

  BROOK: I wanna be indoors. Out there it’s cold.

  FREEMAN: Come on, Brook. Out!

  BROOK: You send me to the ‘eadmaster and ‘e’ll tell you ‘e’s tired of ‘ittin’ me.

  COLMAN: It’s time for the next period, anyway.

  CRAGGE: What you’ve done ain’t fair.

  FREEMAN: All right, I’ve got that. You think it ain’t fair.

  BROOK: (To CRAGGE.) You think it ain’t fair and ‘e thinks it is. So what are you goin’ to do about it. That’s what ‘e’s askin’ you.

  FREEMAN: (To BROOK.) You make me sick! (He turns to go.)

  CRAGGE: (To FREEMAN’s back.) I’ll do ‘im tonight.

  FREEMAN exits.

  I’ll do you tonight.

  BROOK: ‘E ‘asn’t ‘eard you.

  COLMAN: It ain’t ever been done in the school yet, ‘urtin’ a master.

  Pips go.

  BROOK: (Producing a knuckle-duster and offering it to CRAGGE.) You can ‘ave this knuckle-duster for a night for a tanner.

  COLMAN: Blimey!

  BROOK: Watch the door!

  CRAGGE: (Handing back the knuckle-duster.) I don’t want it.

  BROOK: ‘Ave it. What are you goin’ to ‘it ‘im wiv, your breath, you dodger. ‘Ave it and give me a tanner.

  CRAGGE weakly throws him the sixpence and takes the knuckle-duster.

  COLMAN: (At door.) Hey! Old Webster’s coming. He’s at the notice board, he’s pinning up the team. The team for tonight.

  Exit BROOK and COLMAN.

  Enter WEBSTER. Re-enter BROOK.

  BROOK: Reserve.

  A long silence.

  CRAGGE: (Apprehensively.) First?

  BROOK: (Going off gaily.) Second.

  CRAGGE smiles weakly. ADAMS and COLMAN re-enter.

  BROOK: (To ADAMS, exiting.) Team’s up.

  CRAGGE: (Mutters to ADAMS.) I’m reserve.

  ADAMS: First or second?

  CRAGGE: Didn’t even look.

  WEBSTER: (Concerned about CRAGGE not facing reality.) What’s the matter, Cragge boy, can’t you read? When are you going to face up to things?

  CRAGGE: A bloke ‘ad me ‘it this mornin’ for nuffink.

  JORDAN enters. WEBSTER starts his lesson.

  WEBSTER: You sit down now and give me some attention… It’s important to use the comma, or you’ll never be able even to apply for a job.

  ADAMS: Where’ we’re goin’ you don’t apply, you just get took.

  Everybody laughs except CRAGGE.

  WEBSTER: Write down the following sentences and punctuate them. ‘The torch, symbol of learning, has been replaced by…’ What is it, Cragge?

  CRAGGE: Where’s Brook?

  ADAMS: (Innocently.) Ain’t ‘e ‘ere?

  CRAGGE: (Challenging WEBSTER to do something about it.) What’s ‘appened to ‘im then?

  WEBSTER: Gone for a stroll has he…? We’ll see about that. I’ll deal with him later… So when you have a short pause, it’s a comma…

  CRAGGE, in disgust, throws his exercise book loudly against the desk.

  What’s the matter?

  CRAGGE: If I took a stroll you’d be sending the prefects after me.

  WEBSTER: Just be quiet, lad.

  CRAGGE: You blokes can’t touch Brook, can you?

  WEBSTER: I said, be quiet.

  CRAGGE: You can’t touch ‘im though, can you?

  WEBSTER: (Gently.) Go and stand outside.

  CRAGGE: I just got in.

  WEBSTER: You go outside. I’ll tell you when to come in.

  CRAGGE: The longer I stay ‘ere the less I learn and that’s a fact.

  WEBSTER: You’ll be glad you’re leaving then.

  CRAGGE: Big waste a time, this school. Look at the guys you see packin’ a big bag a books regular to school. They ‘ave no money to do nothin’. They don’t know life. And don’t know boozin’.

  WEBSTER: Outside!

  CRAGGE: They don’t know Soho.

  The class laughs, egging on CRAGGE.

  WEBSTER: I said outside, boy.

  CRAGGE: (Standing his ground defiantly.) They don’t know twistin’.

  More laughs.

  They don’t know gamblin’ and swearin’.

  WEBSTER: I said out!

  ADAMS: (Softly.) Take ‘im, Craggsie.

  CRAGGE: There’s gonna be trouble I tell you.

  WEBSTER: (Grabbing him.) What trouble, eh, boy, what trouble?

  CRAGGE: You take your greasers off me.

  WEBSTER: (Letting go.) I’m sick and tired of the smell of violence in this school. All right, I started this last bit. Let’s forget it these last few days, shall we?

  ADAMS: (Sotto voce.) Ban the bomb!

  CRAGGE: (Sounding for the first time as unpleasant as BROOK.) You lay off when I said, didn’t you.

  WEBSTER: Perhaps I shouldn’t have, eh? Perhaps I shouldn’t have. Now,
outside!

  CRAGGE is pushed.

  Now, back to the comma. I am going to put a sentence on the blackboard and I want you to punctuate it for me. Take out your exercise books. Outside, Cragge.

  CRAGGE: You four-kind son of a bitch. You crud.

  Act Two

  After school in the dark, CRAGGE is waiting. Enter FREEMAN with his bike from the bicycle shed, he discovers it has a flat tyre.

  CRAGGE: It’s flat. I let it down. Come on now. No headmaster to squeal to. They’ve all gone ‘ome. You come on.

  FREEMAN is frightened and dumb, only putting the bike between himself and CRAGGE.

  You come on. (CRAGGE whips out the knuckle-duster.) Now come on.

  FREEMAN: (Breathing hard and scarcely able to speak he says meaninglessy.) Shall I tell you… What on earth have you got there?

  CRAGGE: Wot?

  FREEMAN: You… Did you let down my tyre Cragge?

  CRAGGE: Yeah, what about it?

  FREEMAN: I suppose it’s something that you admit it, and I suppose you could have slashed it and me be none the wiser.

  CRAGGE: (Sotto voce.) Slash you… What about what ‘appened to me this morning? Come on now, spit up about that. You ‘ad me ‘it this morning didn’t you? I say the facts about girls and you have me hit.

  FREEMAN: You weren’t saying the facts about girls you were seeing how far you could go. Oh, put that thing away it’s ridiculous!… All I can say is I didn’t want you hit for what you said about girls but if I’d let you get away with it they’d have been throwing things at me next. You as well, because you want to cut a big figure.

  CRAGGE: What do you mean cut a figure?

  FREEMAN: Trying to impress the others.

  CRAGGE: Showing off like?

  FREEMAN: This morning Brook said let’s talk about girls. So you had to go one better and say let’s talk about tarts.

  CRAGGE: I go one better every time but Brook’s the leader.

  FREEMAN: You conform to nothing, neither the gang nor the school and you get the dirty end of every stick.

  CRAGGE: The gang and the school ‘ave a bit in common, ‘aven’t they? The headmaster drives that luxury liner and ‘as ‘is own parking space. Brook loves that. And at staff meetings, all them teachers, two hundred blokes, shoot up when the headmaster comes in. Brook loves that again; and another thing: Brook says it’s O.K. for the ‘ead to be down on swearing ‘cos if ‘e wasn’t ‘e’d lose the manor…

  FREEMAN: (Interrupting.) And anyway why bother to swear?